In Deep Sorrow

I wonder what I could have done.
I wonder if I should have picked up your phone calls.
I wonder if I should have attended your parties.
I wonder if I should have gave you my new contact info.
I wonder why I didn't hear about you earlier.
I wonder why I was too late.
I wonder why there exists not a single way to communicate with you.
I wonder why I never really told you my true feelings.
I wonder why you had to die.

Although I really hated you at some point in my life, I always admired your talent and dreamed to be like you.